10 lb. deadlift! PR!
Hi, I’m Erin Andrews! When I’m not on dancing TV shows, getting video-taped naked or receiving death threats, I do CrossFit! Also, I provide eye candy and uninspired commentary on ESPN!
I love CrossFit! Did you know the CrossFit Games are now on ESPN 2? You did?! I actually didn’t because I didn’t check Facebook this week. Besides, The Deuce (industry term!) is waaaay beneath me. They only show stuff like the WNBA playoffs and Little League World Series games. People watch all sorts of marginal sports programming!
ESPN 2 kicks it up a notch. But are you ready to compete with NASCAR Elite?
You know the drill. You ask, I tell. Take a trip town #cfdrankin memory lane with volume 1 and volume 2 of the Drywall Mailbag.
Found at a Dick’s Sporting Goods store this weekend. There is so much going on here, it’s overwhelming.
1. Why is Phillip Rivers at CrossFit San Diego (you know, instead of the Chargers’ training facility)?
2. Why did he allow himself to be photographed wearing those shoes?
3. Why did anyone think a 35lb snatch would make good marketing material?
4. Who split snatches?
One day, during the NFL lockout, Reebok called and was all like “hey Phil, we want to do a photo shoot of you working out” and Phil’s all like “fuck yeah, I’ll do some 300 lb power cleans and 500 lb squats” and Reebok’s all like “no no, this is a CrossFit workout” and Phil’s all like “oh in that case I’ll lift some pussy weight with bad form while wearing some shitty, overpriced Reebok clothing.”
If you have a better explanation, I’m all ears.
How many STD’s can you contract at a level 1 certification course?
How to deal with competition. Also, real sports are finally back.
Like any true CrossFitter, I
love competition fucking hate competition. When I’m pretending to cheer you on, I’m really rooting for you to continue sucking. Nevermind that I already finished, I just want to look way fucking better than you. Being the tallest midget is the shit.
So when this other shitty box opened up a few blocks away, I’m all ready to beat some ass. This clown bought an Level 1 certification and he thinks he’s qualified to coach people? Well bitch, Reebok CrossFit Drywall doesn’t fuck around. I’ve got the L1 AND the Mobility certs. That’s not one, but two goddamn weekends of my life I dedicated to this shit – I’m fucking committed. And the $1000 T shirt looks so much better on a supple leopard.
Some clown recently strolled into my box wearing a 55# weighted vest and I told him what a fucking pussy he was. At Reebok CrossFit Drywall, we’re on top of the latest trends in being totally fucking badass. Weighted vest were cool when driving 4′ stakes into the ground was a sign of Eliteness, but in softball throwing era, gas masks are the shit.
One of our members running a race while on active duty in Baghdad. You bet your ass he trained for this shit stateside at Reebok CrossFit Drywall.
You wouldn’t believe how much the Winkelvoss twins bitch about their membership fees.
This is a real place. Seriously.
Express assumption of risk: I, the undersigned, am aware that I may seriously fuck myself up doing this shit. Fucking myself up includes, but is not limited to: tearing my hands open, tearing my shins open, tearing my Achilles, tearing my SLAP (whatever the fuck that is), and just fucking tearing shit in general. It’ll definitely happen, it’s more a question of when. I am also fully aware that getting torn up may be some other dickshit’s fault, like I might get a goddamn barbell dropped on me or some shit. Come to think of it that’s more likely to result in a break, so yeah, breaks and tears both. Also, death is still on the table.