I thought you were an enigma.  Some machine with the personification of an all-knowing entity that spouted proverbs once a week.  An illusion to most, and a complete stranger to everyone.  Turns out you must be the owner of my box, because this pretty much is exactly what he says on a daily basis.

Short, sweet, and to the point.

I might add, file your callouses. Fucking man up, bleed through, talk about pussies!
Just my $0.02, but few things annoy me more than hearing about how men file their fucking hands. Callouses, the evolutionary designed response to repeated friction on skin, or the result of Drywalls fitness advice numero 5

Drywall, WTF.  Where is all the hate for Lulu coming from?  Lulu was like the guy that sat down at our lunch table and wanted to be friends.  Reebok is buying the cool kids lunch and then shows up with the cool kids and acts like they all just love the shit out of him (when in reality the cool kids are fucking lemmings taking a free pair of shoes for their Crossfit souls).

I, for one, love the shit.  I would sleep on Lulu sheets if they made’em.  I also have New Balance minimus shoes because they were way cheaper than the cool kids’ Inoveights (did that on purpose). 

With that off my chest, I will say this, get ready for a huge Crossfit puss-fest.  As this “brand” gets bigger, and boxes start popping up on every 3rd corner, more and more pusses will start joining cause it is “cool”.  They will mill around, whine about how hard shit is, and want to socialize about “work” and “family” and blah, blah, blah.

I once knew a blog poster who shaved his callouses so much his hands were overly sensitive. What was his name again…? 
Wall-E…
Drygoods…
drywalll?

I’m going to disagree and stand by my confusion with Lululemon. Besides the absurd name, to price a pair of workout shorts, things my ass is going to literally sweat all over, at $48 seems absurd.  I don’t know whats essential about their essential Tee, but throw another $48 on for that, and it doesn’t seem so necessary.  That’s $96 for their cheapest mens “essentials.”  I’ve worn 5 Ultimate shorts I picked up for $20, and a pair of nike shorts I’ve had the past 6 years or so that I got on the clearance rack, and they’ve held up just fine. The only difference is that they don’t make my behind look as elite.

Laziness. You are correct in that I’ve probably overused Lulu lately, which is why I went with Minimus instead of Vibrams, Inov8′s, etc. If nothing else, I’m inconsistent. But I can’t attack Reebok in regards to being an expensive and popular CrossFit apparel trend because it is neither; no one wears their cheap shit.

Is it Paleo if I just chew them off? 

I have to disagree with you completely.  Tearing a callous is painful, annoying, and preventable. 

Is it Paleo if I just chew them off? 

I have to disagree with you completely.  Tearing a callous is painful, annoying, and preventable. 

Is it Paleo if I just chew them off? 

I have to disagree with you completely.  Tearing a callous is painful, annoying, and preventable. 

Nothing with a Y-chromosome should ever wear Lululemon.

Jon,
Having an elite looking behind will shave at least 0:02 off your PR. Get with it.

Loving this blog. I could talk shit about people, like the stereotypical, living example at my old box (yeah, I hated the bullshit enough to leave my BOX!) who was a walking billboard for all apparel cool, spewed the word Paleo out of her mouth like saying it would have some magical effect to overcome the shit diet she consumed everyday, and who bashed everyone else who was better, while simultaneously searching for approval from those she hated by complaining about her superstar BF who used to tell her how she needed to step it up.  A fucked up social dynamic to say the least.

But I won’t talk shit (anymore), I’ll just tell you that I basically work out naked.  No shirt, no shoes, just a worn out pair of shorts and a good pair of undies to keep it all tied in.  Barefoot running?  Pussies wear Vibrams.  I quick step on asphalt motherfuckers, no shit!  Bring it!

Rusty you are fucking ELITE brother!

Just one point Drywall – you can’t shine or polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter. 

Unfortunately if the owner of the gym is a pussy or is passive to pussy habits it spreads like wild fire.

I am right there with you on this one. Only time I wear clothes is when I have to work out inside (rules against nudity and all), and then I wear Vibrams, same 10 year old shorts I always wear, and a regular fit cotton shirt.  I am at the gym to perform, and I am not at the gym to look good at the gym, I am at the gym to look good when I am NOT at the gym. As much as I would love to tell you I work out 110% for performance, that would be a lie, I do enjoy looking good as a side effect of working hard and pushing myself.  I guess some people have no lives other than the gym so they shop at Lululemon.

Crossfit has a long way to go to compete with the top two sports where people spend money on labels in lieu of being any good:

Skiing: $1000 skis & bindings, $100 poles, $100 goggles, $500 boots, $2000 in mountaineering apparel, and can’t link their turns.

Cycling: $3000 bike, $200 shoes, $200 helmet, $500 worth of logo’ed lycra, and 27% bodyfat. 

Don’t encourage spending money on equipment, Gorilla. Wouldn’t you rather have CrossFitters spend $146 on a Rogue beater bar so that they can dump it 100 times in a WOD with a set of 10s on it than to attempt to do the same with a needle bearing bar? Although, obviously, doing Grace with a IWF certified bar would be more elite.

And, I fully support lululemon. My ass and my boobs look great in lululemon now that I stopped looking like a meth addict and got fat.

I wore only my vibrams when I worked out on your mom last night.  I was surprised to learn that her name was Fran.

All of us who like looking at women owe Lululemon a debt that we can never adequately repay.

no, you need tape to push past your plateaus. lots and lots of elaborately applied tape

I didnt even know they made men’s wear. that’s gay
 

All the dicks bashing Lululemon (ceded: gay name) are the same asshats displaying antisocial behavior by turns (I ooonly wear clothes b/c of laws maaaaaan) and then purchasing pants on Bonobos and gchatting with the ninjas fluffing for a google+ invite. Cutting edge!

It’s just as elitist to drive 25 minutes in traffic to Kohls to purchase cut rate adidas shorts, which retail at 85% of the Lulu tag, in order to feel better about the ridiculous rent you pay for your 1 bedroom “loft” condo. Zipcar, bitches!

Oh what? You wear Champion from KMart? I bet you post pics of the other half encountered while shopping there, captured with a 4G smartphone, on your FB page. Without comment though! Because that makes it funnier.

InnovH8rs gonna H8,

Zack*

*wears Saucony A4

prob one of the best cf blog posts ever

for all you lululemon lovers answer me this what in the fuck has lululemon ever done for cf and the cf community?  they DO NOT give back in any way shape form or capacity.  their clothing is amazing and i actually have 2 pair of their men’s shorts and wear them all the time.  but lululemon has never done anything for crossfit, they have only profited from CF.  they do not give back

Uhhh, why would lululemon need to do anything to “give back” to the CF community? They are a for-profit company. Just like CrossFit is a for-profit company. If lululemon profits when CrossFitters buy their clothes, it means they are doing their job.

hahaha I gotta say ..this is sooo hilarious..seriously ..it does get boring with these types of pple..this guy nails it!   love it!  chances are if you have been crossfitting for awhile u will relate great to this article…

[...] Clutch, Don’t Choke: How to Thrive in High Pressure Situations (Part I) How to Stop Being Such a F****** P**** (NSFW) 5 Tips for Staying Hydrated Reciprocal Inhibition When Life Gives You Lemons – Bench Press There [...]

Didnt get half the references here, but i do enjoy sarcasm quite a bit, so I enjoyed  this post.  Not following how working out without shoes/shirt equates to antisocial behavior, but w/e it still made me chuckle 

Hey dip shit, take care of your fucking hands.  None of us want to use a bar your wacked cortisol ass bled all over.

It’s a workout routine, what’s to give back? 

Thanks for the post.  I’v been plagued by injury, which has been giving me an excuse to be a fat, lazy pussy.  I was pissed when I first read this and thought, “That’s unfair to those of us with injuries and systemic vaginitis!”  Then I got drunk and said I could probably do a sub 10 Fran, and I haven’t trained for real in a while.  So I finally did it after finding what’s left of my nuts and actually finished, although it took me 18:01.  So, fuck you very much.  I truly needed this.

Well, agreed on more weight on the bar obviously. But foam rolling has its place in rehab, I am 100% sure my knee would still be fucked if I didn’t give foam rolling a shot.

come on now…lack of sleep and eating a buch of crap can not be good at all…but i do agree with everything else lol!love it!!

I wanna post this on my gym’s blog so bad, but as a trainer people wont appreciate me saying that

 You should do it anonymously!  Grow a pair and post that shit already!  People need to read that stuff, believe me!

 False:

Mythbusters proved it to be possible.